The Happy Swordfish (la_wilk) wrote,
The Happy Swordfish
la_wilk

New Year, on my boat, eating Wotsits.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Signed on.  Got to a permanent mooring in a marina.  Crossed the Ribble Link under my own steam.  Sailed past the Liver Buildings and the Albert Dock in my boat.  Attended the Labour Party Conference. Got sacked.  Had an interview on a big wheel.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any.  In 2011 I'm going to shift all this fat I put on with my beer and takeaway diet from uni.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.


5. What countries did you visit?
NONE AT FUCKING ALL.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A sex life.  Skinny thighs.  Something to sit on (I burnt my sofa as firewood).

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day I got to do the 'Liverpool Link' - Aintree to the Albert Dock by canal, passing all my old stomping grounds on the way.  Spent lots of time in my youth around that canal and never imagined seeing a boat it, never mind my own.  Also it would have been my Grandad's 101st (?) birthday, so going through the docks was a nice tribute.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Passing my boatmaster exam.  Should have done it last year when I did the training, but my ex-boss is a prick.  Also managing to get money back that was owed to me.  For some reason it's harder to get money that you're entitled to than to win the fucking lottery.  Doing an interview complete with Powerpoint presentation.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Dropping out of university, I suppose, but I don't see it that way.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No.  I'm never sick.  I'm really worried that when I start eating healthily and cut down on alcohol to get rid of this chub I'll suddenly catch everything.


11. What was the best thing you bought?
These new wood briquettes, keeping my boat nice and warm.


12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Clive Grunshaw, the Labour candidate for Lancaster and Fleetwood, who accepted  (a bitter, narrow 333 vote) defeat graciously.


13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My own, when drunk.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Paying back student loans.  Spent about £500 in one day on the boat as well.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
This is so sad, but politician spotting at the Labour conference.  In the space of 2 minutes I told Diane Abbott I loved her, shook Dennis Skinner's hand and was given a free beer.  Oh, and all the free booze and food.  I'll be going again this year.

Also coming back to Liverpool.  As predicted, now I'm here I hate it and miss the quiet, picturesque, wandering life.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I only listen to Radio 4 these days, maybe the Archers themetune? It's my ringtone.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?  Happier.  Boat is a fucking pain in the arse at the moment, no running water, but I'm taking everything as it comes.

b) thinner or fatter?  HAHAHAHAH SO FUCKING FAT.  Joined a gym and in 3 months gained a pound, and according to the weight machine my percentage of body fat went UP.

c) richer or poorer?  Hmm, currently skint but the future looks bright.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Shagging.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Boozing, eating.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Just the parents and the dog again this year, a blessed relief.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Did I fuck.

22. What was your favourite TV program?
Question Time, whilst simultaneously twittering.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
The Lib Dems.

24. What was the best book you read?
Quitting university I got my reading mojo back.  Fell in love with Sherlock Holmes.  Read a book called 'The Other Hand' which I couldn't put down, read in one sitting.  Read the Dragon Tattoo trilogy, quite liked them.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Amanda Palmer.

28. What did you want and get?
I didn't want to be skint, jobless and single at Xmas and thanks to a new job and some nice cheques I was only single.

29. What did you want and not get?
Sexual fucking intercourse.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Inception. Fucking ace.  Probably the only film I went to see, though.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Er...  I must have gone for drinks in Lancaster.  I know Becky got me a Mini Eggs easter egg, I still use the mug.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A husband.  Or a wife with a penis.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
I did the 'capsule wardrobe' thing and bought a load of vests, skirts, and trousers mostly in black.  Still rocking the Karrimor, but they're on their last legs.

34. What kept you sane?
My sense of perspective: knowing that if I don't like being a student or living in Lancaster I could just change it.  Being a member of a union.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I believe I am the woman who could tame Jazzer McCreary from the Archers..

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Fucking all of them. Froze my arse of campaigning in a by-election, the General Election, the anti-cuts campaign, against the EDL in Bolton.


37. Who did you miss?
Been sending a few drunken texts to my ex, but I don't miss him in a romantic way just every time something breaks on my boat (which is often) I think fondly of him and his toolbox (not a euphemism).

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Not met all that many, but I have great neighbours in the marina and my new work colleagues seem fun.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Drain your Paloma water heater whenever there's a frost.  I did already know this, but I really learnt it this year.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

Fuck you - Cee-lo Green
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